starting over

today i feel like im sort of starting over. mariana left, and she took julian, my other closest friend with her. see i have this tendency to connect people, and it may turn out to be a deep profound friendship or a whirlwind romance (in this case the latter). now that seems awesome, and in a way it is, but the downside in this case specifically is that they turned out to have such a strong connection to each other that now im left in the dust, alone and family-less. im extremely happy and excited to see what comes from their lives (whether they stay together or decide to go their separate ways), but my ego who wants company and doesnt like being abandoned is screaming at me telling me im stupid and now im left alone, with the responsibility to start over. 

but guess what? the ego isnt taking over this time. im an extremely blessed person for having the opportunity to create a family here in medellin, a family consisting of a brazilian, a paisa and a street cat. i will always and forever love these people for who they helped me to become, and for continuously teaching me how to love with my entirety, not just seek ego satisfaction.

mari, juli y gus: los llevo en mi corazon para siempre. 

amen.

"You listen to your parents because they have known this world longer than you. But do you think that just by being here a long time anybody knows anything? Do you think time gives understanding? Understanding is not temporal, it is not more experience. It is not the quantity of experience that makes you wise, it is the quality. A single experience can give you more wisdom if you bring the quality of awareness to it. A man may have made love to many women, thousands of women, thousands of time. Do you think he knows what love is? There is quantity, but has he known love? One single love can give you wisdom if you bring quality to it. That quality is awareness. If you make love to a single woman for a single time, with your total being, fully alert, you have come to know what love is. Wisdom is something that happens when you bring awareness to any experience. The meeting of awareness and experience is wisdom." (osho)

and that folks is what i am continuously striving for here in colombia, here in what is viewed as my "year off" by many on the outside, here in life. 

woops

so yea ive been neglecting the blog for a while. heres a small update on life for a. those who still read my blog and b. for future sydney who would like to remember what was going on in life in sept 09...

1. so im staying in medallo next year. this comes as no surprise seeing as life rules here.
2. im in the process of applying to a one year specialization (like a minimasters) in "Proyects of Interior Architecture" that would start in february of next year. its getting me all tingly inside.
3. my 2 best friends are moving to brazil come the 13th, so ive been going through an emo-rollercoaster (ps they should TOTALLY make a themepark ride based on the "emotional rollercoaster"...maybe ill design it in one of my projects) but im handling myself and being honest with them, myself and my emotions, and though im going to miss them terribly, they will be in my life no matter what because they have no idea how much they both have changed me and allowed me to become the person i am today
4. still liking the job, but am needing to negotiate my contract for next year due to the specialization and all, so ill keep you updated on how that goes
5. contemplating moving to an awesome sector called carlos e restrepo or somewhere near there, but its turning out to be extremely expensive so lets see how that works out


all in all, livin the good (and oh so real) life.