reflection and decision

yesterday i went to sante fe de antioquia with a few friends, which is about an hour and a half outside of medellin. the town was adorable, with cobblestone roads and a gorgeous fountain in the center of town and little fruit stands and juice shops where the locals and weekend visitors just sit and pass the warm afternoon. it was so quaint, it even had a rather cinematic nostalgia moment where a bunch of kids ran out of a candy shop laughing and skipping right past us as we walked in that direction. we also then made our way to san antonio, another small town about an hour outside of medallo but in the OTHER direction. this town was quaint as well, particularly at night when all these sweets vendors gathered in the middle of town to sell some of the most delicious candy and chocolate dipped fruit ever made.

experiencing these places was fantastic, but honestly the most revealing part of the day for me was our time spent in the car. as we pulled out onto ave. regional at 1030am i felt a feeling of calm and belonging, like the kind i feel when in the car with the fam heading toward home after a family gathering in long island (i dont feel that calm when heading TOWARD long island bc the mr. hyde side of my mother dominates and the rest of us spend the rest of the car ride ready for defense). though i went to foreign places, nothing felt foreign. everything felt comfortable. i definitely have my moments when im like "holy fuck i definitely feel like im in colombia", but those moments arent as frequent as these ones of comfort and normalcy.

im starting my english lessons for the staff of CINDE this week, which is just the cherry on the sundae for me :) over the past month ive realized im not an office worker. i cant sit in front of the computer and whip out excel spread sheets all day. i need to be moving around, interacting, and creating. from the past week of preparing for these english classes ive realized teaching gives me all that, and though i dont regret my traineeship at CINDE, ill be pursuing teaching come january rather than extend my traineeship here. on top of that ill be taking classes at one of the university's here in medallo in drafting and design so that i can really start creating some cool shit upon my return to the states in 2009 (10? 11?).

yay for making constructive life choices!

yesterday was the first day i started feeling the sting of loneliness (well, since like day 2). i just realize that i miss that comfort i find in my friends, those people who know who i was, what im trying to be now, and my potential for the future without me having to explain it. i miss going to elise's apartment, cuddling and watching flavor of love. i miss going into the city and chilling in sarah's apartment while her roommate and friends from her exotic dancing class do some of the most INCREDBILE things i have ever seen on the stripper pole situated in her living room (no joke, whether you're male or female, gay or straight, you would be amazed/slightly aroused by what these girls are physically capable of...just ask sarah). i miss fighting with arthur and being able to go out to eat with him and not feel like such a doofus because of MY food allergies. i miss being a complete doofus around linds and sitting in our summer 07 apartment watching movies and bitching. i miss dukey's bear-like hugs, grooming his fro/beard, him calling me out on my shit and not being creeped out by my antics. i miss jules and her stories of [W]oe, rachel's ability to make me pee myself, and casey's perfect sized frame for me to hug. i miss cynthia and abbey and our ridiculous antics and trips to the sex shop. i miss julia, rachael, rdt, and all those people who made summer 08 the most amazing summer of my life. i even miss nob who i barely saw, but when i did it was always an adventure. and of course i miss my family and our one-of-a-kind dynamic, and my puppy who is the coolest living thing i know and has the life i sometimes wish i had (eat, sleep, poop, play).

though i may feel lonely now, i know im never alone. these people are in my life no matter what as as i miss those who make me happy, im adding new ones to my life.

but you know what makes me a lucky son of a bitch? the fact that i have these people in the first place.

getting my barings

[1] yesterday i moved into my new apartment. i dont know what i did to deserve this sweet arrangement, but im sure glad i did it! its 30 mins closer to work, a minimum cost taxi ride to the "rumba hot spot" (the minimum fee for a taxi ride in medallo is 3.500 pesos, less than 2 bucks), and with a fellow trainee from brazil (who as of now is my closest friend :)) and the most adorable old woman with 9 children who help her all the time and are some of the nicest people in the whole world. its also 70.000 pesos (45 bucks) cheaper than my last apartment and includes breakfast, clothes washing, utilities, my own bathroom, and a cockroach free zone!!!

[2] im starting to teach private english lessons this week and applying to universities to teach english come january. this will guarantee my ability to stay in medellin and take the necessary drafting classes to build a competitive design portfolio :)

[3] next week i am participating in and helping run 3 aiesec events (an external social entrepreneurship/csr forum, an internal exchange meeting and an intra-LC cultural event). this makes me so happy because i feel like i can continue my aiesec work and help inspire more and more people to involve themselves in the organization, which is my aiesec speciality :)

[4] all in all, im starting to build a life and network for myself here. it feels oh so good.

wow.

i just found out the director of my foundation sat next to muhammad yunus at the clinton global initiative in new york. i almost shat my pants right in front of her.

peace of mind.

i got a new place! its cheap as shit yet in the best neighbhorhood and with my fellow medallo trainee from brazil. its all due to the kindness of colombians and their willlingness to take care of each other.

the tale of my first trip afuera

this weekend was a puente (its pretty much just a 3 day weekend...supposedly there are almost 20 of them throughout the year, 3 in june alone!) and subsequently an aiesec leadership development seminar in cali, a city 8 hours south of medellin. so, of course, i borrowed the 60 bucks from my parents for the registration fee and took advantage of this grand opportunity. i traveled with a bunch of aiesecers by bus on friday night, leaving medellin at 8pm and getting to cali at around 5am. the bus was BALLER, but cold as shit, so i only slept probably a total of 3 hours on and off without completing a rem cycle. needless to say, i was delirious when we got to cali, unable to communicate in spanish NOR in english, making for some great jabs later in the conference from the medellin aiesecers.

from the bus station we took a taxi to a cali aiesecers house, where we bathed and washed up before heading to the university where the conference was to begin at around 9am with registration opening up at 7. we got the university at 8, were greeted by HUNDREDS of aiesecers from all over "zona west" (its a region like north east beast or motexcox in the us), and received official name tags (i didnt know what to do with myself...it was so...organized). then, alas, a laid my eyes upon a familiar face. ruthie had emerged from her faci meeting and i immediately woke up and gave her a HUGE hug. it was SO good to see her i cant even explain. i love medellin but nothing can compare to seeing a familiar face in such unfamiliar territory. then after our "wow, i feel like i saw you yesterday" reunion, i had to return to my lc to teach them our roll call (we did bebot...of course).

the conference started at around 9, surprising the shit out of me because, after all, we are in latin america and my experience with this region is everything either starts 30 minutes late or not at all. we began with dances, introductions and roll calls as per usual, but at this conference EVERYONE had a meticulously perpared roll call, unlike in the us where roll calls are for the most part haphazard (unless your gt...thanks for bebot by the way). then the conference started with a great presentation from an aiesec alum from sab miller about corporate responsibility and how it ties into sab miller´s mission, followed by a presentation by johnson & johnson in colombia, one of the presenters also being an aiesec alum. (the alumni network here in colombia is fantastic. for real.) then there was a small break, which is when i realized how little i would be eating that weekend, everything being either made of meat or wheat. then the conference continued with a presentation from a national bank called bbva, and to me that presentation was a disaster. my spanish is at a point where i understand most of whats going on, and if not the specifics then at least the concept. but this guy spoke SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fast i didn´t even know he was pronouncing words. the people sitting next to me saw my face and started laughing because the expression on my face that of complete shock, like a 16 year old being told hes a baby daddy.

after 30 minutes of complete bewilderment, the presentation ended, we had lunch, and got on the bus to head to the hotel. i got to see a bit of cali, seeing as the bus driver got very lost and took us in circles. it was a delightful detour :) after finally reaching our destination and reconvening in a conference room, we began the conference sessions. the sessions as a whole were fantastic, really involving everyone and making you think about yourself as a leader and as a tangible "product" and how to sell yourself to the public. we should have lds´s like this in the us. i think everyone would benefit. the conference was also organized in a way that facilitated networking throughout the region through the use of "home groups", which were comprised of people from all different local communities and used to nurture moral and friendly competition. my home group was so fantastic, with at least one person from every lc from completely different life backgrounds, including one other trainee from holland (there were 4 trainees in total at the conference from holland, slovakia, china, and (obviously) the us). it was such a well put together conference. i was thoroughly impressed.

ok so now that i have described the conference material itself, now onto the socializing :) the aiesecers in colombia are in.cred.i.ble. like some of the most intelligent people ive ever met. not only did i get to meet so many awesome people from around the region, but i really got closer to the fabulous people from my own lc in medellin. they are all so different but the thing they all have in common is compassion and the ability to make me smile from ear to ear. they appreciate my quirky personality complete with touching and hugging at "inappropriate times" by american standards. and supposedly im hilarious. its a combination of them laughing with me and at me as i try and translate my humor from english to spanish...mostly at me though.

as for the parties (rumbas)...o.m.g. supposedly the rumbas that occurred were NOTHING compared to what they could be, but were 348902342380 percent better than the ones ive experienced in terms of the dancing and pure happiness in the room. no girls crying in the corner over guys, no guys standing on the sidelines barely tapping their foot, no one vomitting nor needing to be dragged out because they can barely stand. instead it was EVERYONE dancing, whether with partners or in groups or a combination of both. there were bottles of aguardiente being passed along with beers being purchased and shared, but not everyone was drinking and that was ok. i myself got to practice my salsa (ps arthur thanks for the nights at level b...they really came in handy and i realize now how much you actually dance like a latino) and learn cumbia, vallenato, and merengue. and of course reggaeton, but thats already my specialty :) i still have a lot to learn, but i already have offers from paisas to go out and practice. another aspect of the party that i LOVED was the music and the subsequent sing-a-longs! the music is just SO happy, and during most of the songs the room broke out in unison, singing their hearts out with so much passion, kind of like what we do when we hear livin on a prayer. my favorite song is now this one, and im in the process of teaching myself the words so i too can contribute to the happiness :)

the last day i had to leave early because i had to catch a bus in time to be back for work on tuesday. i got to travel with 2 guys from my lc an 2 girls from the other lc in medellin. the company was great, but unfortunately we had the bad guy from speed driving the bus. i wanted to vomit the entire way home, and 9 hours of nausea is no fun i can tell you. but alas i arrived home safely, with a whole new appreciation for colombia, its people, and alka seltzer.

so to sum up my first trip in colombia: i spent 3 days from 8am til 3am laughing, philosphizing, and conversing with great people from all over colombia (and the world). id say it was a success.

i am in love.

i really am. i love this country, this city, these people. its so indescribable because ive never felt this way before. even if this feeling fades im so fuckin lucky i was ever able to experience it in the first place. i went to my first aiesec conference in colombia this weekend, solidifying my love for the colombian people and aiesec in general. it was only a regional conference but it had the passion and caliber of people you see at international conferences. i didnt even feel a conference high...it was more a feeling of familiarity and placement. i felt like i had known the people from my lc for years, all of us hanging all over each other during meetings in that comfortable way you usually only see people in the us from the same leadership team who have worked together for months doing.

theres a part of me i feel was born to be paisa. there are aspects to my personality that are very strange and less common in the us that are completely commonplace in medellin. i was talking a while back with my friend julia about what we looked for in a place to live, and we both said we need that strong sense of community where neighbors are supportive just because of the mere fact that their neighbors, not because they can get something out of it. that exists here in medellin more saliently than i ever knew was possible.

i am slowly but surely falling in love this life and who i am in it.

hahahhahahahahahahahaha

we just love to make fun of ourselves in a productive way.

i know nothing.

i realize i have absolutely no idea how the economy works and how this mortgage crisis is the way it is. i understand the very VERY basic concept of the mortgage crisis and why we´re in it, but my semester in high school of "gordonomics" and summer online economics course through tompkins cortland community college just haven´t given me the background i need to really comprehend what the fuck is going on. i need some suggestions on articles, books, and/or people to talk to, and though i dont know how many people read this, i would appreciate ANY advice, either through comments or email (sydney.malawer@gmail.com).

i would also appreciate any resources on our country´s international affairs history as well. i realize after reading this and subsequent comments that i have a lot ot learn on foreign affairs as well.

interesting fact.

"But, he says, all the oil and gas in Alaska, if exploited, would only provide 18 months of the US energy needs at the moment." [bbc discussion with simon schama]

so it seems like offshore drilling isn´t going to help our dependence on foreign oil. interesting...

ps i saw the debate last night (i missed it the night before due to apartment hunting) and though my dad said it was boring i thought it was even better than the first one! the two candidates´ strategies were so transparent, with mccain throwing in the buzz words of his campaign any chance he got and trying to connect with the audience through intense eye contact and calling america "my friends" (with that i felt he was trying too hard) while obama was also trying to connect with the audience by leveling with them when answering the questions and telling it like it is the best way a politician can while presenting new information related to his plans and points of view. i would give this one to obama for sure...in my opinion he did what he intended to do without looking like he was trying to hard.

mullets and man purses and micros oh my!

[1] the "de moda" hair style among men here in medellin is, yes, the mullet. but its not your normal mullet...its much much worse. in high school my friends and i when we were bored would go around the jefferson valley mall and "mullet hunt" (welcome to suburban new york) and when camera phones came out that was it...my friend casey had our greatest find as her wallpaper. but the normal style here trumps even that blonde female mullet/rat-tail we uncovered that glorious summer day. here its more of a mullet-hawk where its clean in the front and the after-math of a party in the back, not even the party itself. my first few days i was caught just staring, and even attempted to take pictures of some REAL finds, but thats when i got real creepy and stopped. now ive gotten a little used to it, but there are still some that just blow my mind, like the "caribbean meets backwoods" version i found the other day. its going to take some getting used to.

[2] another "de moda" trend here for men is the man purse. at first i just thought maybe students have smaller books, but no...its a legit man purse. honestly i think it should be adopted in the US...using big clunky bags when all you need are a few necessities is just a waste of space and a huge hastle. this trend i agree with, though i think they should re-think the mullet-hawk. 

[3] everyday i have to take a bus, the metro, and a "micro" bus to get to work (its ridiculous...im working on changing it). one skill that i lack that colombians miraculous have is a keen sense of balance. when riding the bus and micro, many times you have to stand, but its rather hard to keep balance when a 1984 daewoo school bus or non-brand name van with plastic chairs glued in place of seats is stopping and starting every 2 blocks. people must think i have an inner ear infection because i literally lose my balance everyday (ive actually fallen twice). to try and prevent this i have pulled about 8 people's hair, slammed into countless other standing passengers, and accidentally violated a woman's tatas just a few days ago. if people don't know im foreign when they first look at me, they figure it out after they see me on a bus

these are the moments i live for. 

cuentas 2

[1] the people here are beyond amazing. even the taxistas, who are notoriously the biggest assholes in a society (at least in my experience, both in the states and abroad). i need to change apartments due to multiple factors, and in the past 5 days ive had 7 people (only 3 of them being aiesecers) who have helped me look and call the numbers in classifieds because i have a lot of trouble understanding spanish on the phone. most of these people i had known for maybe 2 hours before they started giving their time to ensure my comfort. and the most amazing part about it is they people dont expect immediate reciprocity...they are doing it out of the goodness of their hearts and the sense of community imbedded in the paisa culture.

[2] colombians know how to have a good time. i went to a party friday night at one of the universities in medellin because it was their last day of classes for the semester so they had multiple bonfires, music, and of course aguardiente (its like slopeday at cornell except less sloppy and more legal). the most hilarious part of the night was when everyone got liquored up enough to start speaking to me in english, just like when us americans get liquored up we start speaking in spanish/french/portuguese/arabic/whatever language we know the basics of. for some reason they found me fascinating and kept on asking me some of the most hilarious questions in their broken english. all in all it was an incredible night with incredible people from incredible walks of life.

[3] i went to crepes and waffles for the first time. 3 words: de. li. cious.

[4] dont see that movie with richard gere and diane lane. saturday night i went with my friend mariana (trainee from brazil) not really knowing what it was about, just that it was based on a nicholas sparks novel. by the end of the movie i and everyone else in the theator wanted to kill ourselves for the sheer sadness and hopelessness that movie provoked. every single person, including most of the men in the theator, had tears running down their faces and snot oozing from their noses. moral of the story, it aint no notebook.

[5] i twisted my ankle yesterday, fulfilling my yearly ritual of having it appear that i have an orange imbedded in my ankle. thank god i packed that ace bandage.

[6] yesterday i met the most amazing woman ever. she´s an artist and lived for 20 years in europe, going from london to paris to lisbon painting, teaching, making books and marrying. she has my dream studio apartment, with the atmosphere of an artist who beautifully balances (or integrates) work and life. that 4 hour conversation has literally been the highlight of my trip thus far.

ok i think thats enough for now :)

i can´t believe this is who i work for.

despite some logistical setbacks in medellin, i am so damn lucky i found this job. the founder and director of CINDE is marta arango, and until today i didn´t realize what that meant. today i was invited to lunch at doña marta´s house (which is really close to the office) so that she could welcome me to the team. during this fated lunch (it was me, 2 post grad interns and 2 full time staffers) marta was talking about her experience in new york, where she was invited by the clinton global initiative (she met and spoke with bill...i saw the pictures) to come present CINDE and brainstorm with other prominent leaders about what can be done to improve childhood education and early human development. that immediately caught my attention. after that i began to ask questions and learned that she is an ashoka fellow and she is currently applying to become a skoll foundation recognized social entrepreneur with the help of another ashoka fellow. (i asked about the skoll foundation because my job here is fundraising and i wanted to make sure that she was aware of it before she left for kenya and indonesia for 3 weeks because the proposal is due on november 4th) after this i was completely floored. then, as if i could be even MORE blown away, she asked me if on monday i would revise her proposal seeing as it was in english! this may not seem like a big deal to a lot of you, but this is HUGE in my eyes. i get to help edit a freakin skoll foundation grant proposal and work with an esteemed ashoka fellow and trusted international figure of the clinton global initiative. THEN she agreed to have a personal date with me upon her return in november so that i can pick her brain. i didn´t even know what to do with myself.

this may be the adrenaline talking but im so damn happy i picked this traineeship. yay :)

i gotta hand it to her...

she held her own in my opinion. 

more on colombia this weekend :) i promise :)