awkwardness of being a gringa

so i had the most awkward encounter a week ago with a taxi driver. honestly if youre white and have blonde hair and light eyes you will get stared at in the rearview mirror by the taxistas and get a couple of weird comments and if you speak spanish well youll get the whole "pero hablas muy bien el español", but very rarely do you get a legit legal marriage proposal for money...

let me explain...

so i get in the taxi and instead of doing the rearview mirror lookdown the taxista turns his body all the way around and begins to study my face, and i mean STUDY it, not in the creepy "i want to do you" way but in a scientific, analytical way. then he finally turns around, proceeds to drive and asks me where im from. common question with common answer.

"im from the united states." next statement is usually a follow up question as to where im from or why i speak spanish well or how long ive been in colombia, but this was not a normal follow up:

taxista: "i have a proposal for you."
me: "im sorry what?"
t: "i have a proposal for you. will you be willing to marry me?"
m: "ummm im sorry what?"
t: "its not for love dont worry. its for business"
m: "im sorry what?"
t: "no im willing to pay you and everything! its not for love or sex i promise!"
m: "im sorry sir i have a boyfriend and i want to get married to him."
t: "oh you have a boyfriend? can you give me his number and ill call him and work out a deal with him."

now this is the point where i go completely silent and pray to god hes not going to take me up to the mountains and do away with me. he notices my silence and then goes on to apologize and say that his parents are in the states and that he was denied the visa so he was thinking about marrying a gringa to get the visa so that he could go with his parents. i felt a bit better, but i still kept one finger on the send button of my cellphone and my keys between my fingers in the other hand. i got home safely, he gave me a discount and apologized again profusely, and i left and took my first breath in 2 minutes.

lets just say im going to have someone accompany me in the taxi from now on even if i have to pay them an extra 10 bucks.

on tv

my dad's famous...well not really but at least people who watch silly shows in the bronx will be able to recognize him :)