yesterday was the first day i started feeling the sting of loneliness (well, since like day 2). i just realize that i miss that comfort i find in my friends, those people who know who i was, what im trying to be now, and my potential for the future without me having to explain it. i miss going to elise's apartment, cuddling and watching flavor of love. i miss going into the city and chilling in sarah's apartment while her roommate and friends from her exotic dancing class do some of the most INCREDBILE things i have ever seen on the stripper pole situated in her living room (no joke, whether you're male or female, gay or straight, you would be amazed/slightly aroused by what these girls are physically capable of...just ask sarah). i miss fighting with arthur and being able to go out to eat with him and not feel like such a doofus because of MY food allergies. i miss being a complete doofus around linds and sitting in our summer 07 apartment watching movies and bitching. i miss dukey's bear-like hugs, grooming his fro/beard, him calling me out on my shit and not being creeped out by my antics. i miss jules and her stories of [W]oe, rachel's ability to make me pee myself, and casey's perfect sized frame for me to hug. i miss cynthia and abbey and our ridiculous antics and trips to the sex shop. i miss julia, rachael, rdt, and all those people who made summer 08 the most amazing summer of my life. i even miss nob who i barely saw, but when i did it was always an adventure. and of course i miss my family and our one-of-a-kind dynamic, and my puppy who is the coolest living thing i know and has the life i sometimes wish i had (eat, sleep, poop, play).

though i may feel lonely now, i know im never alone. these people are in my life no matter what as as i miss those who make me happy, im adding new ones to my life.

but you know what makes me a lucky son of a bitch? the fact that i have these people in the first place.