unsettled

a year ago i was beginning my re-spiritualizaton journey. today i feel completely knocked off balance and (a little less) unsettled like (than) i was a year ago. now its time to start from square one all over again...

self discovery takes more patience than i could have ever imagined. 

ive graduated from paisa university...

i just had my first screaming match with a paisa campesino over the phone over a fridge. 

lesson learned: assholes exist EVERYWHERE, in ever country, speaking the ghetto-version of the native language, trying to fuck you over every which way. i think THAT should be a requirement for residency...holding your own in a screaming match in ghetto paisa. 

its almost here...

in exactly 23 days julia raymond will be taking her first steps on colombian soil, officially starting our reunion after a year and a half apart and our 2 week adventure which will include pueblitos of antioquia, and an amazing semana santa trip to capurganá, one of the few untouched, virgin, wild beaches on the border of panama and colombia.

pumped am i? hell yea.

and so it goes (again)...

my brother just went to his first gpm (gmm, asamblea general, whatever you call it). 

and it all starts...

so i guess i seem to have a tendency to put myself in some of the most difficult and challenging situations i can possibly think of. most of us in aiesec and on nomadlife are like that...masochists. this past week has been no exception. finally i started in the schools in marinilla, waking up at 430AM to catch the hour bus ride at 6AM to get us there by our 7AM class. i never really realized how hard the reality would be up there, seeing as i had never worked with kids before and never NOT worked with privileged teens and adults that have the resources to take english classes. 

the reality hit at once, when i was put in a room with 48 1st graders alone because the teachers thought that because i was there they could just leave and go tend to the other 2 classes that were under their watch at that time, seeing as 2 teachers were absent and substitute teachers seem to not exist in this school (they usually just replace the teachers with an 11th grader). cry number 1 of the week. eventually we got our groups split into 15 students each, and one would think things would get easier, but no siree. 

i would just like to say i give all the credit in the world to teachers. they are the ones who deal with the lives and futures of kids and are responsible for the well being of 20-30 some odd kids at a time, needing to balance the needs and challenges of each child simultaneously. this week in my 5 classes i have seen just how difficult that can be. in my 6th grade i have a blind girl named carolina. i never realized until the moment i met her in my class just how visual a teacher i was, and how everything i had ever done involving teaching now had no significance to this child. cry number 2 and a start from square one. in my kindergarden class i have a student name maria fernanda. maria fernanda is 5 years old, and she has been suffering from a brain tumor for 3 out of those 5 years. because she developed a tumor so young, cognitively she is no where near everyone else. she cant produce, can only mimic, and cant seem to control her urges to burst out when she gets excited about something. thus brought about cry number 3 right after a session of duck duck goose.

so that was week one. week 2 has started out a lot better, now that im in the rhythm of things and am able to handle the 430 wake up call. 

last week also started my grad program. no cries thus far, but lets just say my head starts hurting about 15 minutes into each class. my mind is just not used to concentrating on such technical and academic spanish for 4 hours at a time that it literally wants to explode by the end of the night. also i feel completely lost with the architecture vocab in spanish, though slowly but surely im starting to get it. 

on top of all this i have 2 private students. mas-o-chist. 

though this past week has been one of the most challenging of my life, i must say i wouldnt change anything about it. i should take that as a good sign, right?

design-gasm medellin style

as a designer im almost immediately attracted to other designers. like in aiesec you can always talk about aiesec-related topics, with designers you can always talk about design things no matter where you are or what youre doing. a few weeks ago i met the cousin of a friend of mine here who happens to be an architect...and not just any architect, but in fact the architect for the metro here in medellin. i was immediately fascinated and asked to see his sketches and renderings for the new upcoming stations in sabaneta and la estrella, which has led to a really awesome friendship. and that friendship totally comes with perks! yesterday i got the amazing opportunity to preview the new metrocable that goes from santo domingo to santa elena, an opportunity that wont be available to the public until the second week of february. this metrocable is an AMAZING experience, because you literally go through the forest and get to see places up in the hills that you would NEVER have the opportunity to see otherwise. 

aside from that we also did a tour of medellin, complete with the other metrocable on the other side of the city and tours of 2 of the parque biblioteca pilot projects (i would have to save an entire post to explain that government project, which is one of the most successful social projects medellin has ever seen). ALSO, due to my small bladder and my new friends' vip metro status, i got to see the behind the scenes of the metro, including the offices, the awesome kitchenette for employees, and of course the bathroom. 

all in all it was a day chock-full of design-gasms.

well...

so its been a while, but thats just how things go. i havent been able to put words to my life over the past few months. it happens. i also have been trying to get a handle on myself seeing as every time i go back to the states i go through a crazy weird funky transition period that leaves me utterly existentially exhausted for about twice the amount of time i spend there. but here i am, ready and rarin to go. 

2009 ended beautifully. an amazingly beautiful and long overdue reunion in chitown and then madison, a very jewish christmas which is always my favorite, a refresher of family time that was amazingly honest and change-embracing, and a hilariously unpredictable new years that left me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside and ended in a (not very well) renovated warehouse that now poses as a "pod" apartment. 

i have started 2010 not really realizing its 2010 and liking it that way. im not good at new years resolutions and therefore dont make them, but since ive gotten back to colombia ive hit the ground running and indulging in every minute of it. ive started training in my new job that will bring me the pueblos of antioquia every morning, working with kindergarden to 6th graders under the support of an awesome team. i went to my first yoga class in medellin, and even though i wholeheartedly did not enjoy the yoga nor the attitude of the people who worked there, it was all but productive because it has now stimulated my yoga practice at home, leaving me feeling accomplished and self-reliant. i have added another person to my shit list (i dont ever really get offended by people commenting on my american-ness, but this kid got me to the point where when he talks to me i just stare him down and answer him kurtly), which isnt really an accomplishment but something that shows me that even a year in a half in south american cant get rid of my sydney-ness. i met the architect for the newest stations of the metro, who has taken to my persistence and has shown me all his plans for the latest metro stations and has promised me a pre-experience of the new metrocable in santa elena before it is a launched this monday (oh god i hope!). 

and next week i start the grad program in interior architecture. 

so my only resolution that has now been my resolution for a while is to savor the now. the now is all that really exists, because the past has gone and the future is unwritten, rendering them both irrelevant. 

and so here i am.