its over.

so im back in ecuador after two weeks of in peru in an internet cafe bc its too damn hot in guayaquil to do anything except find an air conditioned space (which is so rare) and sit until its afternoon...i hate those kind of climates where the heat and humidity are so strong that there is no way to cool yourself down while youre outside...new york falls are my favorite climates :)

so i cant believe its over. my flight is tomorrow night so that i get back to new york tuesday. i just cant believe that 3 months have passed...i dont know whether it feels like 3 weeks or 3 years since i got here...weird how that happens.

i wonder who ive become in relation to the old me...if i look different...if i speak with a funny accent...if ill receive life in the same way as i did before i left...if anything subtle but lifechanging has happened to my friends and family...if they finished working on the thurston bridge in ithaca yet (god knows how long that projects been going on)...if the reality i lived in before is going to even resemble my new reality...

while on the bus from lima i had all these thoughts i wanted to put in my blog...but of course ive forgotten them (one thing that has changed is that my memory has gone to shit) and now feel like i want to express so much but cant even begin to put it into words...

one thing that i have been thinking about is am i sad to go home. the answer? no...i know once i get home ill be able to do something tangible with my time instead of just further ´´developing´´ myself viscerally. also my experience in quito had good things and bad things, and as much as i know ill just remember the good things when i go back i dont think i could have endured the bad things for much longer...i think ill have another entry once im back on US soil about the bad things and an advisory list for all of you to see :)

ok so they just turned the AC off in here and ive completely lost my concentration, so im heading out...literally...