the day after

i never realized how much one week could change me. as i feel the vivid memories and that feeling slipping away and becoming more distant, i feel something else coming into its place...something that i have never felt before...like pure unadulterated determination. even as im dealing with the possibility of not being able to do a traineeship in brazil this summer (its a long story, and though im upset i completely understand my parents point of view...we´ll see what happens) this determination is not conceding (sp?--spelling was the only subject in grade school that i got a below satisfactory on...that and my ability to deal with rejection...yea something like that was on my report card in first grade).

and finally ive stopped feeling like my ceed was a failure because after talking to the lcp i realize that i really did try and everyone took notice...she said that someone on the eb actually said that im the best ceeder ever, which both suprised me and made me feel really good about myself and what im doing here.

now is the time to take the next step...my next step will either happen in brazil where i will work in a corporate responsibility development traineeship and simultaneously help AIESEC Recife design and implement their project on CR and help design the project i want to start in my lc, or i will be staying in ithaca, making some money, working on aiesec and trying to be a faci for our summer conference...either way i go i know ill be happy (though brazil would be really amazing...) and using all ive learned and all thats been awakened in my from AXLDS.

another part of the next step in maintaining contact with all those i met at the conference. i really did meet some amazing individuals, including some from the US that i may have never gotten to know so well which would have been a pity bc theyre amazing (esp katy who really just makes me happy every time i see her and with whom i have at least another semester of aiesec with :)). i think ive been good at keeping in contact with people from home while im abroad, so lets see if i can keep in touch with people from abroad while im home! its definitely possibly and those people have inspired me enough that i will more than want to do it!

as home gets closer and closer i realize more and more how much i love being abroad. like im not going to lie i would probably never live in quito (mostly bc the pollution is pretty bad and the men gross me out) but living here has been such an amazing experience that i could see myself living abroad for an extended period of time in the near future (meaning next 5 years...yea sorry mom and dad but its probably going to happen). even with the bad aspects (which i will write about upon my return to the US because it would be rude to write them while here and having someone find my entry and then its just awkward) i really have enjoyed the experience i have had and who i have become...and i think all u back at home are going to like me too :)

and so to quote american pie ´´to the next step´´...(yea david i just quoted american pie even tho i claim to hate it...so sue me...)