retraction

so today when i wrote the previous entry i was really depressed, but now everything has changed (ps thats another thing about this damn culture shock is that you feel like a manic schitzo with ur mood swings)...after writing the entry i met up with my friend katie who i met in spanish school and we went out for coffee...the thing i really like about katie is that a)she is the best listener ive ever been friends with b)she has led a life completely COMPLETELY different from mine to the point that we probably shouldnt get along as well as we do and c)she reminds me of julie and as most people know its really hard for me to live without julie bc she is my heterosexual lifemate so having katie makes me feel like a part of julie is here :)

anyway from my talk with katie i feel 1000 times better. we talked about everything from childhood to the ugly teen years to boys to girls to travelling...all the good stuff. and from our talk i philosophized and made a few decisions and i always feel better when i philosophize and make decisions :)

something that came up in our convos has been a reoccurring theme in my life as of late...everything you feel and do is a choice. though you cannot control your circumstances, you can control how you approach those circumstances which gives you power over yourself and your emotions. so today i was upset but then i chose not to be and guess what? im not...its strange how sometimes it can be that simple.

convos like this remind me of rama because she was the one who introduced me to the concept of choice over your emotions and because she has had to deal with some of the most difficult circumstances in life...circumstances that she does not wish upon any one else...ever...but the fact that she has come out as well as she has makes me so inspired and proud to be her friend...its been almost a year love and look how far you´ve come...and you know no matter what kel and i are here for you...

this makes me realize how much my friendships help me grow...some help me grow in more serious ways than others but all of them help me figure out who i am and what i am doing in life...for that i am eternally grateful.