god what ive been missing...

today amidst my 10 hours spent in the cad lab (thats the "computer aided design" lab...its a fancy term for a computer lab with cooler (and more expensive) programs on it) i took a 2 hour break because i realized fuck it...i deserve one...so i went back to my apartment and enjoyed my 2 hour break and realized something...

this was the first time in probably the entire semester that i was able to enjoy true, guilt-free me time.

the first time that i wasnt secluded to my room because my roommates were in the common area...the first time that i wasnt worried about the work i have and therefore feeling guilty for not doing it...the first time that i wasnt apprehensive about being alone for fear of what my mind would dwell on now that it has some free time to dwell on something besides the eames house...or how old people interact with their physical space in continuing care retirement communities...or how having "sex for fun" is an adaptation for monogamy in humans...or how in ancient greece heracles was really a smelly filthy ass who publically rocked out with his cock out...

and you know what? it felt good. real fuckin good.