the hilarities of being an efl teacher.

so this post was inspired by a fellow teacher's experience. so the first thing i tell all my students is to drop spanish at the door when they come into the class and treat english as its own separate entity. i believe this is the only real way to understand and learn a language, because otherwise during your entire english practice you will be translating from your native language to the other one, which can pose many problems, some of which i will now begin to explain.

i was going over going out to eat in the US and we began to talk about the internation cuisine available in the states. we got onto mexican cuisine (one of my personal favorites and a favorite of paisas as well), and they began listing foods: quesadilla, tacos, little donkeys...
"Wait...what? Andrés, what are little donkeys?"
"Teacher, you know, little donkeys. They eat them much with Mexican food."
"Andrés are you sure? Have you had little donkey before?"
"Yes teacher. It is my favorite food Mexican."
"Ok, I have never seen little donkey in a Mexican restaurant before."
"Really teacher? Little donkey...como burrito?"
::Busting laughter from said teacher::

in my course 12 we were talking about indirect requests, such as would you mind..., could you..., and so on. we were talking about asking for favors using indirect requests and the following conversation actually happened:
"Ok Diana. Santi has a car and you want him to drive you to class in the morning. How would you ask him?"
"Santi, would you mind riding me all the way to class?"
"Um...Diana. You can't say that in the English."
"Why, teacher? I want him to ride me."
::Busting laughter from said teacher who has the mind of a 13 year old boy::

i was talking to a coworker named rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrafa (you need to say the r like that otherwise it just isnt right) about hilarious instances in class where translations have gone horribly horribly wrong. the following is my favorite:
"Ok, you all have 25 minutes to complete the quiz. Raise your hand if you need help."
::Student raises hand::
"Yes Mauricio."
"Teacher, what verb do you need to use here?"
"I can't tell you that Mauricio. Just do the best you can."
"Ay come on teacher...blow me!" (at which point in the story said teacher from before who is listening to this story busts out laughing to the point where she starts crying)
"What, right here?" (said teacher from before starts laughing even harder)
::Puzzled look on student's face::
"Sopleme in Spanish does not mean the same in English, Mauricio. I'll explain later..."
(for the record, sopleme is like saying "give me a hint", though the literal translation is "blow me")

there are oh so many more, but i like doing things in 3s, so lets keep it at that.