im not ready.

going through my calendar today seeing that technically today is the first week in august i realized something...im not ready to go back to school. im ready for the classes and workload, but im not ready for the outside pressures and the extreme stress of the environment. this year is going to be one of the worst in terms of extreme stress in the environment because its senior year and everyones looking for jobs, getting rejections, settling for jobs that didnt really want, and just all around freaking out because they are entering the real world. me, on the other hand, i will be hoping i get into my 4+1 masters program and looking for alternatives just in case that falls through. im even now starting to doubt if i want to stay an extra year, at least an immediate extra year...

but im not freaking out...most of you that know me know how i freak out when it comes to this kind of uncertainty, but im not. maybe this means im growing up...maybe it just means that my 3 months away has made me realize that nothing means the end of the world and that no matter what we truck on...either way i know that even tho i may not be ready to go back to the unnecessary excess stress and the ridiculous human beings that go to cornell, ill make it work.